I am called to be a writer, but I was not born into the writer’s life. My past is a vista of gently rolling hills of a life on cruise control, precharted and unengaged. Very safe, highly productive, but a world away from the wild roller coaster plunging into the darkness and around corners unexplored, riding on faith, hope and the fantastic joy of adventure. As writers we create stories. Sometimes, the biggest story is the one we feed ourselves to keep us ‘in line’, on a route serving the narrow agenda of others rather than our authentic selves. After decades of chipping at the mind’s prison with the verbal equivalent of a bobby pin, my spirit is emerging, squinting, and slowly expanding into this vast new universe of a life free from ‘I can’ts’, “I shouldn’t” and ‘You aren’ts’. Sitting with five questions is helping me do that.
The Five Questions
These five questions are not true/false or multiple choice; they cannot be answered, checked off, and filed. For me, they serve as lampposts on a journey still coated in the fog of my past, giving comfort in moments of isolation, guidance in those times where I’m wondering where, or if, to move on. I’m still using them. Now, I’m moved to share them.
- Why do I want to write? This may seem like a no-brainer, but sitting with this question was like taking a long look at the suitcase I’d been carrying unaware for so long, I’d forgotten why. Writing was something I always did, it got me through school and into a job, I had never made writing a conscious choice. Reflecting on the why allowed me to dumping that suitcase I’d been dragging for so long. I am sorting out what no longer served me: outgrown beliefs, dirty laundry, other people’s ideas …and make room for dreams and goals of my own.
- What am I called to write? I started with a story for a friend. I am now on a journey within myself to places I didn’t know existed. For a time, I turned off my writing in the hopes of ending the journey. Getting honest about what I was doing allowed me to make the choice to keep going. it had nothing to do with knowing how to write, everything to do with aligning my desire with my actions.
- How does fear manifest in my life? We all have fears, and thank God we do. Fear can be a powerful messenger and motivator, if we don’t let it take charge. Medicine can be a cure or a poison, depending on how we use it. Meeting our fears, getting to know them, then putting them in our place is part of what makes the roller coaster so exhilarating.
- How do I nourish my creative spirit? For years, I didn’t even acknowledge I had a creative spirit. When its presence would not be denied, I fed it Doritos and margarita, not to nourish it, but to keep it distracted and quiet. I still love my Doritos (Zesty Cheese is my favourite) and a good margarita, but only in times when I am celebrating – the end of a chapter, a great conversation, the company of good friends – for it is these things that feed my creativity.
- Who make me feel like a writer? Our world of commerce and tangible outcomes is rarely kind to the artistic soul. How many words did you write? How many books did you sell? These can be well-meaning from the curious or important in a business meeting but they can also be draining to a soul called to imagine, explore and discover new paths of expression. Writing is solitary but starves in isolation. Connecting with others, building relationships that feed and flow … that plugs you in to the limitless energy flowing through and around all of us.
It doesn’t matter what you’re writing…
… it matters THAT you’re writing. I have tried not being a writer, and it’s like turning off the pump to stop it from raining. My mind and body still generate ideas and stories; without writing they accumulate, overwhelm, and churn, until they leak out at the most inopportune times. Like 2 am. Or in the middle of a finance meeting. So, I keep the conversation going. Here, on my blog. And in January, in person on the island of Oahu in Hawaii. You can ready more about the Hawaiian retreat here. New voices always welcome.
About the Author
Jennifer Hatt is author of the Finding Maria series and works with other authors realizing their goals for writing. See more at OwnYourStoryNow.com